Self Clean This

Whenever we cook something in our oven it smells like everything we’ve ever cooked.

That’s because, in the 9 years we’ve lived here, the oven has never been cleaned.

It’s a self-cleaning oven. As in, the oven is supposed to clean itself.

I’m damn sure not doing it.

It’s not like I’ve never tried. Every other year or so I forget it’s broken, so I push the self-clean button and wait for the miracle.

After about 45 minutes smoke starts pouring out and we get the letters ERR F5 in the display.

So, our oven has 9 years worth of charred bits of pizza and baked potato and pumpkin pie and lasagna.

photo of my cruddy oven

I’m not cleaning the oven. It’s the principle of it.

Steve asked “So, were just gonna’ let it gunk up until we can’t get anything in it?”

Damn right.

When that thing gets hauled to the side of the road, I’ll have the last laugh.

F-U, ERR F5.


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