Did You Just Get Jacked?

One of my new favorite terms seems to be –jacked, as in news-jacked, status-jacked, he jacked my moves, attention-jacked.

That last one, attention-jacked, I made up just a few minutes ago because I felt the need for a term that describes my existence.  I basically spend all day, every day going from one attention-jacked moment to the next. Part of the problem is that my work requires me to be in front of a computer. Add to that, I have to do online research. Add to that, my email box is always hopping. Add to that, I have Facebook and Twitter popups. Add to that, I like to watch catchy Youtube videos. Add to that…I think you get the point. If you were to map my mind flow for an hour it might just cover the entire human condition and I’m sure monkeys could write Shakespeare from it.

photo credit Sergey Galyonkin

photo credit Sergey Galyonkin

I’ve tried ways to combat it: rigorous schedules, stretching every hour, coffee, beer, snapping my wrist with a rubber band, more beer to dull the pain. The most successful has been earbuds and the Pandora Beethoven station. The music seems to occupy that part of my brain that wonders if there’s a wikipedia definition for status-jacked and keeps me from trailing off down a Pinterest path toward holiday cookie perfection.

I’ve decided that I must kinda like my distractibility or I wouldn’t cling to it so strongly. I love, truly love, learning new things and finding tidbits of joy in unlikely places. I just wish there were a switch I could flip when I really, really must concentrate on only one thing and get it done before moving on. Like right now.  Seriously. I started my morning getting a blog piece ready to go for a client and suddenly here I am jotting down 500 words of my own thoughts. During the writing of this post I stopped to check email, followed a link to a funny triathlete video, retweeted some stuff, and stared out the window pondering typing monkeys. Seventeen minutes of time completely unaccounted for in my day.

Meaning of life-jacked?

Meaning of life-jacked?

Anyway, I’m sure you were doing something much more important than reading this before you got attention-jacked and I made you watch that video. Which lead to another extreme time wasting video. Now it’s time to swig a beer and put on the headphones so we can all get back to being productive members of society; unless you’re good with me responsibility-jacking your day. Then I recommend heading over to The Oatmeal and see what’s its really like to be an online content creator. I’ll catch up with you there as soon as I answer this text…

Other humor by Michelle: The Whole Internet in One Book

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